Work quotes

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A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
    --Anonymous 

Take time to reflect on all the things you have, not as a result of your merit or hard work or because God or chance or the efforts of other people have given them to you.
    --Anonymous 

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
    --Anonymous 

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.
    --R. Stallman 

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.
    --W. C. Fields 

In case of atomic attack, all work rules will be temporarily suspended.
    --Anonymous 

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.
    --Jean Anouilh 

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
    --Dave Barry 

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three persons, two of them absent.
    --Anonymous 

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
    --Anonymous 

Money may buy friendship but money cannot buy love.
    --Anonymous 

What this country needs is a good five dollar plasma weapon.
    --Anonymous 

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.
    --James Blish 

What this country needs is a good five cent nickel.
    --Anonymous 

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
    --Charlie McCarthy 

Anything labeled "NEW" and/or "IMPROVED" isn't. The label means the price went up. The label "ALL NEW", "COMPLETELY NEW", or "GREAT NEW" means the price went way up.
    --Anonymous 

It's a poor workman who blames his tools.
    --Anonymous 

When all else fails, read the instructions.
    --Anonymous 

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.
    --Norman Douglas 

"Do you think what we're doing is wrong?"
"Of course it's wrong! It's illegal!"
"I've never done anything illegal before."
"I thought you said you were an accountant!"
    --Anonymous 

Weekend, where are you?
    --Anonymous 

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to work.
    --Anonymous 

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
    --Kim Hubbard 

If you fail to plan, plan to fail.
    --Anonymous 

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.
    --Robert Louis Stevenson