Science quotes
Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
--Kelvin Throop III 
This universe shipped by weight, not by volume. Some expansion of the contents may have occurred during shipment.
--Anonymous
"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."
--Dave Barry
I am not an Economist. I am an honest man!
--Paul McCracken
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
--John Kenneth Galbraith
A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
--Max Planck
ACHTUNG!!!
Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pockets. Relaxen und vatch das blinkenlights!!!
--Anonymous
Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines.
--R. Buckminster Fuller
Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?
--Anonymous
"Obviously, a major malfunction has occurred."
--Steve Nesbitt
There are two kinds of solar-heat systems: "passive" systems collect the sunlight that hits your home, and "active" systems collect the sunlight that hits your neighbors' homes, too.
--Dave Barry
For God's sake, stop researching for a while and begin to think!
--Anonymous
Mathematics deals exclusively with the relations of concepts to each other without consideration of their relation to experience.
--Albert Einstein
The spirit of Plato dies hard. We have been unable to escape the philosophical tradition that what we can see and measure in the world is merely the superficial and imperfect representation of an underlying reality.
--S. J. Gould
All laws are simulations of reality.
--John C. Lilly
And the French medical anatomist Etienne Serres really did argue that black males are primitive because the distance between their navel and penis remains small (relative to body height) throughout life, while white children begin with a small separation but increase it during growth -- the rising belly button as a mark of progress.
--S. J. Gould
When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane, the plane will fly.
--Donald Douglas
Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.
--Anonymous
The universe is all a spin-off of the Big Bang.
--Anonymous
The universe is an island, surrounded by whatever it is that surrounds universes.
--Anonymous
It's later than you think, the joint Russian-American space mission has already begun.
--Anonymous
Heard that the next Space Shuttle is supposed to carry several Guernsey cows? It's gonna be the herd shot 'round the world.
--Anonymous
UFOs are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
--Anonymous
The Force is what holds everything together. It has its dark side, and it has its light side. It's sort of like cosmic duct tape.
--Anonymous
GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY (#7): April 2, 1751
Issac Newton becomes discouraged when he falls up a flight of stairs.
--Anonymous