Quotes by W. C. Fields

You can't cheat an honest man. Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump.
--W. C. Fields

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
--W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
--W. C. Fields

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
--W. C. Fields

Women are like elephants to me: I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
--W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
--W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of a man when he has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
--W. C. Fields

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
--W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
--W. C. Fields

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.
--W. C. Fields